Birthday gift via Christmas gift

Life is funny.  Sometimes not in a “ha ha” kind of way, but funny regardless.  This is a lesson in “what you should and shouldn't joke about”.  This is something I know nothing about.

My Dad was a player.  Literally and figuratively.  He was a fantastic drummer and vocalist and 100% rock star, through and through.  This man was an entertainer and lived the life of one for many years and, enjoyed all the perks, especially the ladies. 

Now I’m not going to creep you out with sleazy stories about my dad, but just ask my mom DeAnne, she will be more than happy to share stories that will make you uber uncomfortable.  Ask her about the marriage counselor.  That one is a doozy.

Here is what I do know, even hanging out and living with dad as an adult, when he was no longer the 22- year-old rock star, the women still flocked to him.  It was kind of mind blowing.  And unnerving.   He had the most magnetic personality of anyone I have ever met, then and now.  I am not the only person who thought this, anyone who knew him would agree.  But this can cause things to get messy on occasion, especially if you are dating and/or married to a hot-blooded Italian woman.

 

Somehow my parents made it work for over 20 years and even remained the best of friends after they divorced.  I know despite mom meeting and marrying an amazing man in Eddie, she did always love George.  And he knew that, the little shit. 

After dad died, we did make some pretty funny remarks about his ashes, like we separated the wanker ashes from the rest of him so he couldn’t chase tail in the afterlife. (Yes, those of you that don’t know me well, get used to this humor.  I’m inappropriate and it’s too late to change now.  If you are offended stop reading now, it’s just going to get worse). Then I started in on the commentary.  “Mom, you DO realize that I have a sibling out there somewhere.  I mean, the odds, seriously”.  I have been joking about it for at least 15 years.

On dad’s birthday at 7:30am the phone rang.  It was mom, and I was expecting her.  We check on each other on this day every year to try and help avoid depression, crying fits, anger, whisky, tequila, heavy medication, photo album marathons, more whisky, and gambling binges.  You know, the usual shit you do when something is upsetting.

Here was the first 10 seconds of the conversation.

Me: Hi Mom.  How are you doing?

Mom: Well, I’m ok.  Need to talk to you

(at this point I roll my eyes and wait for mom to get upset and tell me she misses dad and blah blah blah….)

Me: OK Shoot.

Mom: You know how you are always joking about how someday a brother or sister is going to come knocking on your door?

Me: Yep.

Mom: Well today is that day.

RADIO SILENCE. 

Yep, I, the constantly yapping over-talker, was speechless.  Which was good, because this is a great story.  

Mom received a text from my Aunt Janet the night before.  She was already asleep and didn’t get it until the morning.  My Aunt Janet is my dad’s sister.  She’s 80 and a pistol, so add that nugget to the details of this whacko story.   Let me back up a little…

Aunt Janet wanted to do the whole DNA thing.  You know, ancestry dot com and yadda yadda.  Me, my husband Mike, mom and my cousin Patrick did it on MyFamilyTree DNA and guess what?  Mom is my mom and Patrick is my 1^st cousin.  Shocker.  So, Aunt Janet asked her kids to get her a kit for Christmas and well, they did.  Aunt Janet though, is a busy-ass lady and was snowbirding in Phoenix for the winter so didn’t bother with the test until she realized she was going to have to pack it back to Michigan so, what the hell, in March she swabbed away and mailed it in.  5 weeks later, 23andme posted her results.  (which by the way, the Sheehan family has some jacked up heritage.  We are all scratching our heads, but I digress).  Not long after this she gets a message from someone claiming that she could be her first cousin.  Of course, Janet would certainly know her first cousin, not to mention the math really didn’t work so she explained there must be a mistake and well, sorry but no.

This is where things get interesting.  The lady in question, Laura Iaquinto wasn’t convinced, with good reason.  Now Laura has one of those family members knows the entire history of everyone (there’s always one) but, they know their way around the heritage/ancestry/DNA game and she explained that with the markers found, this woman could also be her Aunt.  So, not taking no for an answer (surprised?) she contacted Aunt Janet again. 

This time the question was not about first cousins.  This time, the question was  “Do you have any brothers?”.  To which of course the answer is yes.  Two.  George and Frank were the Sheehan boys, and sadly neither one of them are with us any longer.  They were however both in Michigan in 1966. 

The question of which brother took exactly one sentence from Laura Iaquinto: 

“My mother was a go-go dancer”

Well shit.  That’s George.

At this point is when Janet sends the text to DeAnne, including Laura’s phone number, which leads to the 7:30 am phone call to me from mom.  Mom then gave me Laura’s phone number.

I do not know why there was no hesitation whatsoever, but I just picked up the phone and dialed.  It was crazy.  Laura answered.  She was sweet.  Picture a sweet, nice, teacher version of me.  Ok, you can’t but it was worth a shot.   We walked through the whole scenario again, as well as the name of club where her mom worked (which I recognized) and the correct spelling of her last name, which then led me to facebook. 

Now, when I tell you this woman looks like my dad, I mean, give this girl some drumsticks.  I saw the picture of her with a beer in her hand and knew immediately - it was uncanny.  But of course, I really wanted to make this official.  Seeing as how 23andMe does not allow imported information but FamilyTreeDNA does, I managed to wrangle the instructions, send them to Laura and she sent me her info.  Once she signed the release the information uploaded.  I was sitting in front of my laptop in the living room when I hit refresh on my screen.  And there she was.  Right in between mom and Patrick.  Laura Iaquinto/Half Sister.   I get goosebumps every time I think about it.  I gasped and dialed the phone as she was dialing me.  I have to say, we’re now like a couple of kids at a sleepover.  “You have two dogs?  I have two dogs!”  It’s giggly and ridiculous and I love it.  

What led Laura to look for her biological father at this point in life is her story to tell, but I will say this, she didn’t know to look until recently.  If it weren’t for Aunt Janet’s Christmas present, none of this may have gone down at all so thanks to the O’Neil family for everything.

So, I have a sister, the Sheehan clan has another cousin and it’s all wonderful.  There are many, many things to be thankful for in this scenario.  But here are a few that are not so obvious.

 I am thankful that Laura is my older sister, and not my younger.  She was born in 1966. My parents married in 1968.  So, thanks for not making this more awkward than necessary, dad. 

It’s wonderful finding out that people are genuine, caring individuals.  Laura just wanted to know who her father was.  A wonderful, heartfelt quest. She seems to be a kind, caring person.  In turn she now has a pretty nutty sister and a whole tribe of cousins I’m guessing she wasn’t counting on.  I hope I don’t completely freak her out or disappoint her, as you know, I’m just a little off-kilter.  I don't think this blog will help but I'm one for full disclosure so here I am, smart ass, cursing and all.

Although it may be selfish, I am glad this reunion happened a little later.  If either of my parents were made aware of Laura in January of 1966, I may not be here at all.  I would never want to deny anyone the love of George, but in the spirit of self-preservation, I’m glad I made it.

And guess what?  George was a grandpa.  Something I never did for him.  It also makes me a real aunt.  Now, I have many wonderful nieces and nephews through Mike’s huge family and my amazing friends, but it is kind of cool to welcome these two kids into the family.  Besides that, now I can be a LEGIT CRAZY AUNT!  Look out guys, Aunt Kelly is more fun than a frog in a glass of milk.

 

Let’s not forget my mom.  Not only has she been fully supportive and wonderful, she seems as excited as I am. ‘There’s another part of George out there’ she said. Which makes me want to cry.  But I won’t, because I’m a badass, and we don’t get all soft.  She called Laura and welcomed her to the family.  All class, that lady.  So, I’ll just smile and say thank you and make an inappropriate joke about a singer, a go go dancer and a drummer walking into a bar…no, never mind.  I just can’t. 

So that is the story of the Christmas gift that led to the Birthday gift.  As usual in my life, same old, same old.  Move along people, nothing to see here.