Life is funny.
Sometimes not in a “ha ha” kind of way, but funny regardless. This is a lesson in “what you should and shouldn't joke about”. This is something I know nothing about.
My Dad was a player.
Literally and figuratively. He
was a fantastic drummer and vocalist and 100% rock star, through and
through. This man was an entertainer and
lived the life of one for many years and, enjoyed all the perks, especially the
ladies.
Now I’m not going to creep you out with sleazy stories about
my dad, but just ask my mom DeAnne, she will be more than happy to share
stories that will make you uber uncomfortable.
Ask her about the marriage counselor.
That one is a doozy.
Here is what I do know, even hanging out and living with dad
as an adult, when he was no longer the 22- year-old rock star, the women still flocked
to him. It was kind of mind
blowing. And unnerving. He had the most magnetic personality of
anyone I have ever met, then and now. I
am not the only person who thought this, anyone who knew him would agree. But this can cause things to get messy on
occasion, especially if you are dating and/or married to a hot-blooded Italian
woman.
Somehow my parents made it work for over 20 years and even
remained the best of friends after they divorced. I know despite mom meeting and marrying an
amazing man in Eddie, she did always love George. And he knew that, the little shit.
After dad died, we did make some pretty funny remarks about
his ashes, like we separated the wanker ashes from the rest of him so he
couldn’t chase tail in the afterlife. (Yes, those of you that don’t know me
well, get used to this humor. I’m
inappropriate and it’s too late to change now.
If you are offended stop reading now, it’s just going to get worse). Then
I started in on the commentary. “Mom, you
DO realize that I have a sibling out there somewhere. I mean, the odds, seriously”. I have been joking about it for at least 15
years.
On dad’s birthday at 7:30am the phone rang. It was mom, and I was expecting her. We check on each other on this day every year
to try and help avoid depression, crying fits, anger, whisky, tequila, heavy medication, photo album marathons, more whisky, and gambling
binges. You know, the usual shit you do
when something is upsetting.
Here was the first 10 seconds of the conversation.
Me: Hi Mom. How are
you doing?
Mom: Well, I’m ok.
Need to talk to you
(at this point I roll my eyes and wait for mom to get upset
and tell me she misses dad and blah blah blah….)
Me: OK Shoot.
Mom: You know how you are always joking about how someday a
brother or sister is going to come knocking on your door?
Me: Yep.
Mom: Well today is that day.
RADIO SILENCE.
Yep, I, the constantly yapping over-talker, was
speechless. Which was good, because this
is a great story.
Mom received a text from my Aunt Janet the night
before. She was already asleep and
didn’t get it until the morning. My Aunt
Janet is my dad’s sister. She’s 80 and a
pistol, so add that nugget to the details of this whacko story. Let me
back up a little…
Aunt Janet wanted to do the whole DNA thing. You know, ancestry dot com and yadda
yadda. Me, my husband Mike, mom and my
cousin Patrick did it on MyFamilyTree DNA and guess what? Mom is my mom and Patrick is my 1st
cousin. Shocker. So, Aunt Janet asked her kids to get her a kit
for Christmas and well, they did. Aunt
Janet though, is a busy-ass lady and was snowbirding in Phoenix for the winter
so didn’t bother with the test until she realized she was going to have to pack
it back to Michigan so, what the hell, in March she swabbed away and mailed it
in. 5 weeks later, 23andme posted her
results. (which by the way, the Sheehan
family has some jacked up heritage. We
are all scratching our heads, but I digress).
Not long after this she gets a message from someone claiming that she
could be her first cousin. Of course,
Janet would certainly know her first cousin, not to mention the math really
didn’t work so she explained there must be a mistake and well, sorry but no.
This is where things get interesting. The lady in question, Laura Iaquinto wasn’t
convinced, with good reason. Now Laura
has one of those family members knows the entire history of everyone (there’s
always one) but, they know their way around the heritage/ancestry/DNA game and
she explained that with the markers found, this woman could also be her
Aunt. So, not taking no for an answer
(surprised?) she contacted Aunt Janet again.
This time the question was not about first cousins. This time, the question was “Do you have any brothers?”. To which of course the answer is yes. Two. George
and Frank were the Sheehan boys, and sadly neither one of them are with us any
longer. They were however both in
Michigan in 1966.
The question of which brother took exactly one sentence from
Laura Iaquinto:
“My mother was a go-go dancer”
Well shit. That’s
George.
At this point is when Janet sends the text to DeAnne, including
Laura’s phone number, which leads to the 7:30 am phone call to me from
mom. Mom then gave me Laura’s phone
number.
I do not know why there was no hesitation whatsoever, but I
just picked up the phone and dialed. It
was crazy. Laura answered. She was sweet. Picture a sweet, nice, teacher version of
me. Ok, you can’t but it was worth a
shot. We walked through the whole scenario again, as
well as the name of club where her mom worked (which I recognized) and the
correct spelling of her last name, which then led me to facebook.
Now, when I tell you this woman looks like my
dad, I mean, give this girl some drumsticks.
I saw the picture of her with a beer in her hand and knew immediately - it
was uncanny. But of course, I really
wanted to make this official. Seeing as
how 23andMe does not allow imported information but FamilyTreeDNA does, I
managed to wrangle the instructions, send them to Laura and she sent me her
info. Once she signed the release the
information uploaded. I was sitting in
front of my laptop in the living room when I hit refresh on my screen. And there she was. Right in between mom and Patrick. Laura Iaquinto/Half Sister. I get goosebumps every time I think about
it. I gasped and dialed the phone as she
was dialing me. I have to say, we’re now
like a couple of kids at a sleepover.
“You have two dogs? I have two
dogs!” It’s giggly and ridiculous and I
love it.
What led Laura to look for her biological father at this
point in life is her story to tell, but I will say this, she didn’t know to
look until recently. If it weren’t for
Aunt Janet’s Christmas present, none of this may have gone down at all so
thanks to the O’Neil family for everything.
So, I have a sister, the Sheehan clan has another cousin and
it’s all wonderful. There are many, many
things to be thankful for in this scenario.
But here are a few that are not so obvious.
I am thankful that
Laura is my older sister, and not my younger.
She was born in 1966. My parents married in 1968. So, thanks for not making this more awkward
than necessary, dad.
It’s wonderful finding out that people are genuine, caring individuals. Laura just wanted to know who her father
was. A wonderful, heartfelt quest. She seems to be a kind, caring person. In
turn she now has a pretty nutty sister and a whole tribe of cousins I’m
guessing she wasn’t counting on. I hope
I don’t completely freak her out or disappoint her, as you know, I’m just a
little off-kilter. I don't think this blog will help but I'm one for full disclosure so here I am, smart ass, cursing and all.
Although it may be selfish, I am glad this reunion happened
a little later. If either of my parents
were made aware of Laura in January of 1966, I may not be here at all. I would never want to deny anyone the love of
George, but in the spirit of self-preservation, I’m glad I made it.
And guess what?
George was a grandpa. Something I
never did for him. It also makes me a
real aunt. Now, I have many wonderful
nieces and nephews through Mike’s huge family and my amazing friends, but it is
kind of cool to welcome these two kids into the family. Besides that, now I can be a LEGIT CRAZY
AUNT! Look out guys, Aunt Kelly is more
fun than a frog in a glass of milk.
Let’s not forget my mom.
Not only has she been fully supportive and wonderful, she seems as
excited as I am. ‘There’s another part of George out there’ she said. Which
makes me want to cry. But I won’t,
because I’m a badass, and we don’t get all soft. She called Laura and welcomed her to the
family. All class, that lady. So, I’ll just smile and say thank you and
make an inappropriate joke about a singer, a go go dancer and a drummer walking
into a bar…no, never mind. I just
can’t.
So that is the story of the Christmas gift that led to the
Birthday gift. As usual in my life, same
old, same old. Move along people, nothing
to see here.
